craftylady

the eggnog I’d taste
At the holiday parties,
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store

(less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous
meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces
and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls,

the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said,
“No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in
my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again

to do battle with dirt…

I said to myself,
as I only can
“You can’t spend a winter
disguised as a man!”

So, away with the last

of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake,
every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food
that I like must be banished
“Till all the additional

ounces have vanished.”

I won’t have a cookie
not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew
on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits,

or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot
and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome,
and life is a bore!
But isn’t that

what January is for?

Unable to giggle,
no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all
and to all a good diet!